Everything I didn't want from the new Taylor Swift single

  • Tweenage lyrical preoccupation with 'haters'
  • Weird spoken interludes about 'sick beats' and 'fellas over there'
  • Mildly racist appropriations and other such lazy cut-and-pasted music video cliches
  • A continued, dangerous slide into sub-par Katy Perry pop
  • Horns

In short, all four minutes of this:

It's not too late, Taylor. How about we pretend the whole Shake It Off business never happened and you just release this instead? Yes, I know it was on your last album. But it's smart, beautiful, and 100% not something you'd ever catch Katy Perry croaking all over. HASHTAG TREACHEROUS FOR LEAD SINGLE HASHTAG DOWN WITH HORNS HASHTAG TAKE OFF THOSE SHIT GLASSES.