Things of the Week

Wine what I ordered off the internet Satisfying life-admin of the week: offloading three years' worth of laptop-clogging TV episodes from said laptop onto an external hard drive I already can't remember what I did with. Laptop remains, inexplicably, as slow as ever.

Momentous weather event of the week: news that temperatures in central London finally slipped below 10 degrees celsius for the first time since February had me reaching for the nearest scarf with joy and relief. Seasons!

Overrated flag display of the week: regardless of the precise degree of snobbishness exhibited by the now former Emily Thornberry MP in her three word tweet, that Rochester display of hastily draped English flags was objectively hideous. At least mix it up with a union jack or Keep Calm... poster or two, Van Man.

Track off the new Taylor Swift album of the week: Style.

Objectionable Bob Geldof decision of the week: why in god's name would you invite 'Zoella', 'Alfie' and 'Zoella's Brother' onto the new Band Aid single? Is One Direction's prepubescent appeal in such terminal decline? Are Ellie Goulding's vocals actually that desperately in need of drowning out? What do the Suggs have on you, Geldof?

THING OF THE WEEK: microwaveable bags of spinach

Look, I know others may have already twigged that these are a thing. That one doesn't need to spend countless minutes prodding and poking at stubbornly unwilted spinach leafs over the stove, so long as one is in possession of a microwave and a suitably formed pre-packed spinach bag. But to me this was a revelation, and once again I found myself moved to confusing late-on-Tuesday-night tears by the fucking ingenuity of the human spirit.

This week's things of weeks came courtesy of the realisation it is possible to order bottles of semi-palatable red wine from our local Indian takeaway. God bless you, local Indian takeaway!