Career Notes #1: Pokémon Trainage
Job title: Pokétrainer
Description: An arduous but mildly fictitious trek across pixellated landscapes in search of between 150 and 721 different types of monster.
Famous Examples: Ash Ketchum, Gary Oak, your 11 year-old cousin, David Attenborough.
Key Skills: You should enjoy spending countless hours in the company of an assortment of bizarre looking creatures, but have no moral qualms about stuffing them into small, spherical containers and periodically hurling them into violent battle.
Necessary Qualifications: None. Literally anyone can do it, though some basic map-reading skills would come in handy for telling apart seven hundred identical ‘routes’. Nintendo DS ownership and ability to correctly pronounce Ecruteak also useful.
Pay: Extremely lucrative. Look forward to extracting half your opponents' worldly monetary resources following each successful battle.
Advantages: Fame, glory and riches await. Hooking up a Pikachu to the mains could also reduce your annual energy expenditure by up to 92%, though steps should be taken to avoid drawing the attention of RSPCA inspectors.
Disadvantages: Cleaning up after certain species can be troublesome. Snorlax produces around twenty six tonnes of excrement each week, while getting Ditto slime out of carpets is a real bitch.
First Step: Hitch a ride on the nearest Lapras to Pallet Town, where an increasingly senile Professor Oak will hand you one of his rare Pokémon and a load of expensive equipment for no apparent reason.