Set in stone: my election pledges

Greetings, electorate! On the eve of the most unpredictable election in living memory, behold: my policy pledges to you, the voters. The Ross Writes election pledges: in stone

Painstakingly hewn against the advice of my entire PR team, dragged forth from a nearby quarry by an exhausted squad of interns; should I somehow find myself in power sometime next week my Pledge Slab will be permanently installed – Old Testament style – upon the roof of 10 Downing Street (rafter permitting). What hope do potential coalition partners have in negotiating their way round these limestone proclamations? How could I ever renege on promises so permanently etched into only mildly weather-worn rock?

That said, if the Tories get in again my plan is to smash it all up into tiny disappointed pieces and start my own gravel business.

#entrepreneur #striver #hardworkingfamilies