Tuesday Tune: Giorgio Moroder & Britney Spears - 'Tom's Diner'
Say what you want about Britney (“bald!” “umbrellas!” “cheetos!” “Smurfs 2!” etc) but the sometime pop warbler has one of the most distinctive voices in modern music.
Like the One Ring, Wordpress and fennel, in the wrong hands it can be a force for great evil (Exhibit A). But like most of those same things, it can also be commandeered to create a work of great artistic wonder and joy (Exhibit B).
I'm pleasured to report that Brit's feature on the new Giorgio Moroder album, a cover of Suzanne Vega's Tom's Diner, registers a strong 8 on the Blackout spectrum. Her arch delivery, twisted in all the right ways by a healthy dose of vocoder, brings to mind some of the best moments of that 2007 classic - still a dark pop masterpiece 8 years on.
Britney - this is where your hopes of a future in music lie. Instead of giving over your iconic trills to the unworthy causes of Iggy and will.i.am, embrace your true calling as unsettling spectral presence on a neverending parade of electropop majesty. Pitchfork would love it, and hey, think of all the time it leaves you for grits and frappuccinos.
The best bits of Tom's Diner? In reverse order:
3. The clashing instrumental pile-up in the last quarter. 2. "And then I pour the milk". 1. The fact that Britney clearly fucked off before she recorded the middle eight, leaving an audibly disgruntled Giorgio to pick up the pieces in post-production.