Numbers of the week

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5ft

The length of appendage needed to take the perfect selfie, apparently.  Goddamn you, regular-size human arms. I knew my nostrils couldn't actually look like that. 

 

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1980

Oh hey Industrial Revolution! It's 2017! Your carbon emissions twin! So about all that coal you're burning... 

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2

If, hypothetically, you'd been hearing noises in your attic; and if, hypothetically, you'd baited and laid two rat traps; and if, hypothetically, both disappeared without a trace a few days later;  what kind of hypothetical roof-dwelling beast would you be dealing with? Hypothetically. 


This week I was mostly having...

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Bottomless brunch prosecco

  • 1 x harassed waiter
  • 2 x entitled Londoners
  • 2 x hours
  • 1 x written off afternoon

There ain't no party like a Two Hour Bottomless Brunch Before Wandering Central London, Cackling Offputtingly and Spending Absurd Amounts of Money on Wine, Taylor Swift Vinyl and Other Such Fripperies, Before Crashing at 3pm and Spending the Rest of the Day in Bed party!


More things of weeks

Best enjoyed with endless prosecco refills