RuPaul's Drag Race Season 10 Mid-term Report

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Eight weeks in and queen numbers have dwindled sufficiently for me to muster the energy to write obnoxiously about them. Werk! Start your engines! I need to get up in this Season 10 review GIIIIIG gurrrrrrrrlll.

No, come back. I’ll stop.

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Asia O'Hara

Asia’s run thus far has careened perilously between scene-stealing highs (that big bird costume! LOL monobrow!) and task-tanking lows (every pained second of Beyonce’s third assassination-by-Snatch Game; ‘I was too busy mothering everyone to finish my own rhinestones’). When you average it all out I suppose you end up with something not a million miles off that fish head thing, which - FYI - I did not care for.

Assembling this 'piece' has also reminded me of her appalling promo shoot... wig, is it? I have docked a grade accordingly.

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Number of wins: 1

Vixens dispatched: 1

Plausible finalist? Yes

AQUARIA

Aquaria entered the workroom thin, Instafamous, and with not a follicle of body hair to be seen. Naturally, I loathed her.

Since then she’s both pounded/oiled the runway and snatched Snatch Game from under the noses of several seasoned comedy queens, setting her squarely on a Raja trajectory of All-Round Awesomeness rather than the hitherto assumed Violet pathway of Hey So It’s This Or Ginger Minj.

In a league of her own at this point. God I hate her.

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Number of wins: 2

Facial hair: N/A

Plausible finalist? Yes

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Eureka

To say I have mixed feelings about Eureka doesn’t quite do justice to how badly I wanted the Vixen to vault across the Untucked set and set her fucking wig on fire. Where the Vixen and I differ, however - other than our willingness to tolerate a succession of basic and predictable hair loaves, apparently - is that I can also begrudgingly admit Eureka’s doing pretty damn well for herself this season. Goddammit.

Look, she’ll never be my preferred winner - not while she’s blubbing about her knee every five minutes and clomping about like a bejewelled knickerbocker glory. What I can’t deny, much to my own horror and disappointment? I LAUGHED AT HER SNATCH GAME. Which is more than can be said for previous recipient of World of Wonder’s We Want a Plus Size Winner’s Edit, Ginger Minj.

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Number of wins: 2

Knee drama: endless

Plausible finalist? Yes

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Kameron Michaels

What we’ve so far learned about Kameron Michaels would barely fill an All Stars elimination lipstick (Quite Likes Shania Twain, Muscles), but who knows what she might let slip following her winning Cher impression last week. Conversation? A personality?

I jest, of course. We’ll get a few more snatched moments of airtime and an overly elaborate costume at best. As much as I’ve been lowkey rooting for her, and even with a reported penchant for lipsyncing behind that typically vacant visage, there’s no armwrestling away the strong suspicion that Kameron’s days are as numbered as her six pack.

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Number of wins: 1

Words spoken: 12

Plausible finalist? No

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Monét X Change

Monique Heart’s clumsily cartwheeled departure has left a gaping hole in the season’s workroom commentary rota that Monét is now just about carrying single handedly. She’s smart, she’s funny, she’s eminently likeable… she’d be a potential bloody winner if it wasn’t for those abominable lewks of hers.

Far from being a one-time hacksaw disaster, episode 4’s shredded quilt was just the starting gun for several weeks of lopsided padding, visible tape, and ugly poolside inflatables. Boot boot boot boot. I couldn’t actually name you a least favourite ensemble at this point.

Without a major wig upgrade I’m guessing it won’t be long before Monét finds herself back in the bottom two, and it’s doubtful whether she’d survive another look-what-I-hid-in-this-ill-fitting-corset-oh-shit-my-corset routine. I’d still be fuming about her shambolic assault on Man! I Feel Like A Woman if it wasn’t for Shania’s recent foray into politics (and subsequent stock plummet on the gay exchange).

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Number of wins: 0

Passable lewks: 0

Plausible finalist: No

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Miz Cracker

Bloody love me some Miz Cracker, but *dons Dr Dill costume* everything okay back there? Because I know you didn’t actually just crack an ageist cane joke about Cher in front of octogenarian and Cher-fanboy-in-chief, RuPaul. Right, gurl? RIGHT?

It’s impossible not to compare Cracker with facetwin and frenemy Aquaria. That was fine back when her jokes were landing, the lewks were tight, and Aquaria was yet to discover her hidden talent as a Melania Trump impersonator. Alas, Cracker’s barely there Snatch Game seems to have set a new, underwhelming bar for successive tonal misfires, and next to that goddamn hairless mannequin she’s never going to conquer the runway.

Time to up your game Cracker - otherwise a BenDela-esque fanbase-baiter of an exit could well be on its way *perches glasses, threateningly*

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Number of wins: 0

Weird Untucked speeches: 2

Possible finalist? Not at this rate

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Rupaul

The wonders of post-production might make it easier than ever to blur out Ru’s more haphazard lacefronts, but there’s only so much life World of Wonder tech support can retrospectively inject into a franchise namesake who mentally checked out at least thirty queens ago.

That said, it’s been an eventful season for Ru so far, who’s cracked into life not once, not twice, but on A HANDFUL of separate occasions: primarily any time Miss Vanjie’s mentioned, and also, accidentally on purpose actually punching Asia O’Hara in the face.

Keep it up, Mother!

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Weeks spent nursing heavy cold: 3

Delta Work hatchet jobs: 5

Contestant names remembered: 1

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